150 Days later

Hello once again after an extended break……

Now there could be lots to tell if I included all the sordid details of my life, but that’s not really the point of this blog — that’s what Facebook is for (at least that’s the way it seems) . There are some things however that are new enough with this stage of transition to mention alongside the regular ups and downs of life.

My daily routine was working well until I began ignoring it (I’m not really fond of routine) and the odd late stay at the office has become a bit more regular again. Despite this you can count the dilations I’ve missed on one hand still. The kit I have has worked well when travelling (if adding a bit of extra weight) and our long weekend visit to Sparkle in Manchester went very well.

On the Saturday afternoon of Sparkle I headed back to the hotel a little after 5 to do my second dilation and let Sasha know I’d get ready for the evening out (She was still had nearly a full pint to finish). Now when we’re away we obviously have just the one bed so I get everything laid out, sort myself in the bathroom then get down to business. So it was probably around 15 minutes later that I’d really got the the first dilator in fully in and then about two minutes after that I could hear Sasha rather excitedly coming to the door of our hotel room. Now if you know Sasha it should come as no surprise that she invited 3 friends round for a quick drink in our room. Not really much I could do except apologise for not standing up and get on with it. Our good friend Karabela was with them (who was there when I first got together with Sasha) and took to stoking my leg while I finished up – overall an odd and unexpected experience. It’s lucky I don’t embarrass easily these days and so went my first public dilation session.

Another thing that did occur that weekend was that somehow I didn’t bring back with me the douche that I’d been using – we had both checked throughout the room and the bathroom, so not sure how we missed it. Sasha suggested that it may have been mistakenly disposed of by the cleaning staff think it an empty bottle, but seems unlikely to me. I was able to get a replacement through Amazon with same day delivery on Tuesday (sorry to sound like a bit of an advert) which is really quite handy.

Another thing that I’ve found is that it is probably a good idea to work out how to go to the toilet in more rural environments. Using a toilet is obviously no problem at all, but if you haven’t practised squatting just right (or worked out the best way of getting your footing  secure) it can easily lead to embarrassment or worse.  The worse scenario is tramping off to an inappropriate location with inadequate footwear, slipping and falling resulting in a broken elbow. I don’t recommend the latter and I still don’t quite have full movement in my left arm though it is pretty close fully working.

At the end of July I received my gender recognition certificate, so now I have an official piece of paper to state the utterly obvious. £140 for a  not particularly impressive piece of paper, but it’s pretty much the last of the legal hoops to jump through.

You’ll not see it in the picture but the paper at least has a very official looking ER watermark.

A week after that arrived I had an appointment with the Daventry gender clinic. This time it was with Dr Tickle rather than Dr Timmins who I have been seeing throughout. Dr Tickle is relatively new and brought in to help with the extra workload they have been getting (and still waiting times are increasing), basically he’s dealing with people that need just the most basic or no support while Dr Timmins is taking on the newest patients. It makes sense but is a little annoying and to be honest I thought they would probably have checked my blood results, recommended the levels to be maintained and discharged me to my GPs care. Dr Tickle has discharged anyone yet and has suggested I go back in about a year. The one thing I did mention to him that I did want some advise about was the small amount of internal hair that I have, but he couldn’t really say much and advised I discuss with Mr Thomas.  I haven’t done this yet — and probably I better off discussing with the nursing staff. It’s not causing any problems at the moment, but it is annoying to know it’s there (and even when really probe with my fingers I can’t always find it). Maybe a year of electrolysis isn’t enough if your body is quite good at recovering – I think also the stopping of hormones before surgery made a bit of difference too.

Life is good and I can do the little things without the anxiety they used to cause in the past – like today wearing some fairly tight leggings (I did it before, but usually with quite a tight gaff to keep everything tucked away — It can be worrying if things slip and uncomfortable too). I also have finally been to a comic con and had pictures with some of the actors I’ve admired. It might seem odd that someone who has been such a massive fan for all these years has avoided the conventions, but when you’re not comfortable with yourself physically it can really stop you from doing the things you really want — It’s like before transitioning if I’d had my picture taken with Sylvester McCoy I wouldn’t really have been in the picture (yes I could have done it before the operation, but somehow now it feels right).

As always, thanks for reading


Stacy xx


— 14 August, 2017

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